ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
