Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
