North Korea, Best Korea!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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