Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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