im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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