ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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