yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
