i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
