I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
