We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
