I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
