Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
