I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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