Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
