Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
