Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
