So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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