youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
