He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
