apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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