Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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