Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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