who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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