I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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