Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
