it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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