So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
