dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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