He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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