If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
