After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
