Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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