I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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