how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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