she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
And then he peed in my hair
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