Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
