well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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