I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
