garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
