Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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