ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
