Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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