Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
