Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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