Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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