i just google imaged poop.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
