Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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