Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
