My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
