i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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