just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
