Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
