just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's Friday. Sex?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize