Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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