If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
