just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
