ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
