Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
