I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize