I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Floor bacon is actually really good
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
