is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
